We have watched enough of these reality shows to know that a 2-hour finale means 1 hour and 40 minutes of retrospective fluff before you get to the actual final results. The Mouse did a fine enough job of trotting many of the stars out during the show and covered some favorite moments, but we were more than ready for the final finale! However, just like DWTS, we first want to include our own retrospective fluff, comparatively truncated though it may be!
The Rib’s Top Five Dances of the Season
My criterion for identifying best dances was what dances could I remember off the top of my head. So, with that said, here they are:
5. Gilles Marini/Peta Murgatroyd
“Gangnam Style” Group Dance, Week 5
For the last time, “Please and Thank You.” Gilles and Peta gyrating in towels…enough said.
4. Apolo Ohno/Karina Smirnoff
“Statue” Foxtrot, Week 3
Mimicking Gilles really suited him, as Apolo showed himself to be leading man material with that dance.
3. Shawn Johnson/Derek Hough
Rumba, Week 5
While Stub and I will go to our graves proud never to have seen the movie, Titanic, and abhor the theme song, this was a gorgeous dance and highlighted that our little chipmunk may be becoming a woman.
2. Gilles Marini/Peta Murgatroyd
Jive, Week 2
It was simply awesome with bad-ass costumes, big hair, and Queen. Oh yeah, and Gilles’ bare chest. See number 5.
1. Shawn Johnson/Derek Hough
Argentine Tango, Week 9
I just remember thinking how our little chipmunk was all growed up! They killed that dance with technique, style, and some amaze moves.
Stub’s Top Five Dances of the Season
I actually looked back over my notes to make sure I didn’t miss something fabulous, but my “top 5” were also already top of mind:
5. Kelly Monaco/Val Chmerkovskiy
Contemporary Dance, Week 4
I just remember being moved by this dance, as well as surprised by Kelly’s moves. It was simply amazing. And, it was the first truly memorable dance of the season.
4. Kirstie Alley/Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Quickstep, Week 5
“Guilty Pleasure Song” week was actually pretty fun. And you all know I have a bit of a thing for cougars, ’cause—to steal a phrase from The Rib—for the last time, a cougar never disappoints. Here’s to you, Ms. Alley!
3. Shawn Johnson/Derek Hough
Rumba, Week 5
The Rib and I did boycott that movie, and the song is awful, but this dance was amazing. Beautiful lines, fantastic choreography, and hot without being over-the-top.
2. Sabrina Bryan/Louis van Amstel
Rumba, Week 6
This was just beautiful. We all know Sabrina got robbed by exiting the competition so early again, but there was no way she was going to compete with the ultimate finalists. That said, I loved watching her dance, and this was absolutely my favorite dance of hers this season. Strong, yet vulnerable, lyrical, and moving.
1. Melissa Rycroft/Tony Dovolani
Argentine Tango, Week 9
Not sure what The Rib’s selection process looked like, but this is the first dance I thought of for my favorites of the season; I’m guessing she did the same with her top dance pick. If it means anything, the judges agreed with me. This dance was everything that a dance should be, technically and emotionally. Anyone who can hold those long, beautiful limbs in such perfect poses while being twirled around by her partner deserves the win!
Now back to the final “instant” dances…
Kelly Monaco/Val Chmerkovskiy
Instant Jive (Judges’ Score: 28.5)
Cumulative Score: 87.5/90
The Rib: This jive was fine enough, but I am done with them going to the shirtless well with Val. No amount of good abs can make up superior dancing. I just was not that impressed overall. I am also done with Brook Burke trying to play TMZ in the skybox. Are they? Aren’t they? As Jerry Rice said on “DanceCenter,” they totally are!
Stub: This was not bad. They have “chemistry,” that’s for sure! Quick, but effective dance. And yes—they are a “thing.”
Melissa Rycroft/Tony Dovolani
Instant Samba (Judges’ Score: 28.5)
Cumulative Score: 88.5/90
The Rib: Their samba was very good, especially given the slow pace of the song, but it paled in comparison to last night’s samba. I am not sure it was the dance of the winner of the mirror ball trophy, but it was respectable. One thing is certain, Melissa’s body is smokin’ hot!
Stub: Awesome. Not as good as the night before, for sure, but great. Short but fulfilling!
Shawn Johnson/Derek Hough
Instant Cha-Cha-Cha (Judges’ Score: 30)
Cumulative Score: 87/90
The Rib: Now, this instant Cha Cha Cha was awesome. It is ironic that they danced to “Respect” since they showed none to the judges last night with their rebel Quickstep, which I think cost them the competition. Still, this was easily the best dance of the night.
Stub: Awe! Derek hearts Shawn! How sweet. This was easily the best “instant dance” of the evening. Strong, powerful, and perfect!
Veuve Fourny & Fils Premier Cru Grande Reserve Champagne, France
What else are we going to drink for an “All-Star” finale but Champagne? We are full-time fancy, after all!
The Fourny & Fils Champagne is a 20% Pinot Noir/80% Chardonnay blend. And it is good!
The Rib likes her bubbly, and thought this one was fantastic. Nice toasted pear on the nose and palate with just enough cream on the finish and not overly dry. As The Rib said “momma like!”
If you are in the market for some celebratory bubbly, this $42 bottle of Champagne is a great choice—it’s an excellent wine that won’t break the bank. Pop the cork and see where the evening takes you!
The Rib: While I do not relish listening to Stub brag about his awesome Dancing with the Stars winner-picking skills (much harder than mastering a Bo Staff), he got this one right. The finishing order was correct based on the final performances. Melissa is an outstanding dancer and probably could be a pro if she tried. Speaking of pro, Bergeron is an excellent host and deserves every subsequent Emmy nod undoubtedly coming his way; Brook Burke Charvet, on the other hand, looked like a pro of a different sort tonight—perhaps she was practicing for a part in a movie in which she is walking the stroll at the North Pole, waiting outside Santa’s workshop until the elves get off work for the night. Seriously, who dresses her?
So, what have we learned this season? First, the fans will usually vote for the best dancer; second, the crowd does not reward disrespect for the rules and the process; and lastly, there are very few tweets that interest me and giving people a larger audience for their self-important commentary doesn’t come with a “value add.” Thanks, Twitter!
Stub: Well, I was right. Very right. And I’m proud of that. Very proud. As for my Bo Staff skills, they’re not what they should be, but I could hold my own in some kind of YouTubes fail video if I had to. How did I hone my Dancing With The Stars winner-picking skills? I know America. And I’m full-time fancy. At some point, I’m sure some scientist will want to stick some electrodes to my head to see how this finely-tuned T.V./wine pairing brain works. Until then, I’ll continue to bring my (and The Rib’s when available and/or interested) brand of show critiquing and wine reviewing to you, the dedicated follower.
My final thoughts on the “All-Star” season of DWTS? I thought the casting was brilliant; fan favorites—winners and non-winners alike—hitting the dance floor again. As for the dancing? There were some great dances here and there, but overall, I felt like it took the couples a while to really get it going in the ballroom. As for the costuming? Excellent. Celebrities and pros alike donned (or didn’t don, in many cases) some of the hottest costumes the show has ever seen. There’s nothing more fun than watching pretty people do pretty things while enjoying a bottle of wine with The Rib. Well, there is something more fun, but I’ll leave The Rib and my “after party” activities to your collective imaginations…
Will we do our DWTS/wine pairing series again in the spring? Not sure. We’re considering other shows to pair wine with, but Dancing With The Stars seems the most natural fit for our endeavors here at CorkEnvy. We welcome any suggestions you may have. Thanks for following throughout this season!
Until next season?
Cheers from the Ballroom at CorkEnvy,
Stub & The Rib